I am focusing (don’t like to say “trying” as it implies so much concentration, and effort; I prefer Master Yoda’s teaching of “There IS no ‘try’…only DO. Or do NOT.”) on standing, without falling or even taking a step, in the very near future. Takes up a lot of my ‘free’ time!
Today I get another visit from one of my doctors, who walks over to my bed, smiling.
“How are you doing, Mr. Gillett?”
“Pretty good, I guess. You?”
“I’m fine. Listen, I gotta ask you something…what are you DOING when you’re not in with the P.T.s?”
“Not a lot…I’m not interested in television much, these days. Most of the stuff is crap. Can’t read, as the words keep jumping off the page, I still can’t seem to see that clearly. I just kinda close my eyes, and relax.”
“Yeah, hopefully your eyesight will improve, over time. Are you still seeing ‘floaties’, when you go outside?”
“Yup!”
“THAT’LL go away, too…I’m sure. Anyway, tell me more about your down-time.”
“My ‘down-time’? Well…uh…I just close my eyes, and visualize…mostly standing without falling, or maybe even taking a step, like I used to. I never fall, when I do this…and I feel like I’m getting stronger each time I see myself.”
“Ahhh! THAT’S it. That’s why you’re making such amazing progress. Whatever you’re doing, continue! You’re blowing our records right off the wall!”
“I AM?? What records? What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re weren’t supposed…that is, SCHEDULED, to walk for about another TWO YEARS.”
“Really?? Ha! That’s nuts. Give me about two MONTHS. Make that a MONTH.” (Like I said, I LOVE a challenge)
“I’m kinda starting to believe that’s POSSIBLE, with you. What you did yesterday with the P.T.s is the talk of the rehab room.”
“What? Oh…when I let go of the parallel bars? I don’t know…it just seemed to be the right time.”
“But you refused to FALL. EVERYONE went to grab you before you fell, but you didn’t….you didn’t go DOWN!”
“No, after I finally got up on the little machine and looked down at my legs for the first time, on Tues., it kinda freaked me out, a little bit. I could see that my legs and feet had no intention of holding me up, again. It was as though every time I had ever walked was a DREAM, and these were no longer my legs! So, I had a little internal CHAT with my legs, the other day. I told the left one with all the superficial, cosmetic damage, that it had to teach the right one with all the broken bones and the titanium rod how to stand, and walk, again.”
“Wow. Really? Okay….go on…”
I continued: “Okay…so, I told the left leg that it had no excuse not to hold me up, as there were no broken bones in it. Luckily, I’m a juggler, so I knew that the hemispheres in the brain learn from each other through constant communication by means of the corpus colossum bridge, so I knew it was possible to make this happen. Back in rehab, Once I got the P.T.s to let me tape an orthotic pad to my right shoe, to make up the 2cm. difference in (leg) length, I figured I might be able to find a balance, again. This seemed to be crucial, to me. And I guess it worked.”
“I’LL say it did! That, and you having the P.T.s put you in YOGA positions, which must’ve hurt like…like hell…right?”
“Oh, God…yeah. But EVERYTHING hurts, anyway…so I thought maybe if my body was reminded about what it USED to do, it might respond. Seems to help. Hell, holding myself up on the bars with mending collarbones and my right arm hurts, too…but it’s gotta be DONE, right? Otherwise, I’m in that chair, for GOOD!”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right… But you are definitely a different kind of patient, Mr. Gillett. You’ve been teaching our P.T.s how to help you back on the road to recovery.”
“Good…maybe…I don’t know…maybe this will help them with other patients, in the future. They can teach them visualization, or something to help them help themselves.”
“Maybe! Either way, it really seems to be helping you. Good talking to you, Gary. Keep it up, buddy!”
“Thanks, doc….Bob. I will! See ya.”
And with that, he left. Well, back to WORK. Close the eyes…breathe, deep. Going inside… Ahhhh…there I am walking, in the sun…it feels so good, so effortless. I can feel the sun on my body, smell the sweet summer air, My legs look and feel so STRONG…I’m going to RUN, now…